The Lost Myths
by 347-Flavors
Summary: AU.  Series of oneshots in which the Greek gods and goddesses are college students.  There are a few different pairings, exploring as many possible relationships as I could think of.
1. A Mother's Wisdom

A/N: Here's a series of short oneshots with Greek Mythology. However! The gods, goddesses, etc. are set as college students. The first prompt was: Describe the children of Maya (Aphrodite) and Shannon (Athena). Are they good parents?

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><p>"Christ, Jonah, can't you get your head out of a book for fucking five minutes to look at my prom dress?"<p>

The bespectacled boy peered up at his sister through thick brown hair, paused for a moment, and then, in a quiet but steady 12-year-old voice replied, "Mum says we shouldn't swear."

Liv frowned down as her brother returned to his reading. She stomped downstairs as best she could while wearing four inch heels, past one of her mothers - also face first in a novel -, through the kitchen, and into the laundry room where her other mother was ironing clothes.

"Mommy, how does my dress look...? The limo's coming in, like, 10 minutes and the rest of the house is having library time," she pouted, crossing her thin arms over her chest. Her mother turned around, shoulder-length blonde hair nearly bouncing as she did so, and smiled. She straightened her daughter's dress sleeves, prompting an exasperated sigh from Liv.

"You're the spitting image of me when I went to my junior prom."

"Didja go with mum?"

"No, we didn't start dating until college. I went with some dirtbag on the football team," her voice trailed off as she rustled through her pockets, extracted a small laminated object, and slipped it into her daughter's hand.

"Mom!"

It was a condom.

"What? I can't stop you from doing what teenagers do, but at least be safe," she winked. A horn sounded outside of the house.

"Well, that must be the limo," she straightened her daughter's dress sleeves another time, kissed her forehead and wished her a fun night as she rushed out, still red cheeked from her mother's "gift." As she slipped out of the door, she heard a firm voice come from the reading room.

"Don't swear in front of your brother." n


	2. Spite

A/N: This prompt was to describe Corinna (Persephone) and Kim's (Hera's) first kiss. Schuyler, also mentioned, is Zeus.

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><p>Corinna didn't know how she felt about what Kim had just done. Sure, she was a nice girl, a little gruff, but really nice once you got down to it. And sure, she was very pretty. In fact, Corinna wouldn't have minded one bit if Kim had kissed her for any other reason. But something about the vindictive look Kim flashed at Schuyler after the kiss, that made Corinna feel almost used.<p> 


	3. Passing the Torch

A/N: This prompt was . . . How would Schuyler (Zeus) react to if Haru (Apollo) got pregnant with Andrew's (Ares') baby?

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><p>"Well, um, yeah, so here's the ultrasound, ladies," campus heartthrob and college bard of sorts, Watanabe Haru held up a small black and white photo, addressing a group of four or five fangirls. The usually fit and lean musician was now looking a little round around the abdominal area and all eyes were on Andrew Morris, the purported father. As big man on the campus, Schuyler decided he would need to straighten things out with Andrew.<p>

"I'm not fucking gay, alright? We were just out getting drinks, I don't even usually hang out with him. He just got me tickets to a big Sublime show so I needed to get him back, you know? Next thing I know he's fucking calling my apartment, says he's keeping the baby. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do? I don't want a fucking kid, especially not with him!"

Schuyler smiled knowingly, took his friend by the shoulder, and led him to a nearby bench.

"Let me give you some advice about illegitimate children..."


	4. A Trickster in the Underworld

A/N: This prompt was . . . Where would Blake (Hades) and Haru (Apollo) go for their honeymoon? How is Pete (Hermes) going to sabotage their honeymoon? Also mentioned is Corinna, who's Persephone.

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><p>"J-jeez, B, this is, um... this is nice...?"<p>

"Caves 'r nice, yeah. Used t' take Corinna down here a lot."

They really were an odd couple, this tall, large, dark man and his bright, wiry husband. And a cave in Utah wasn't exactly Haru's ideal honeymoon location. But Blake was happy and so Haru decided to make the best of it. He laid out a red checkered quilt and started to unpack tupperware containers of wedding leftovers from a large cooler, placing them in what he was sure was the most aesthetically pleasing arrangement possible. He then slid his acoustic guitar out of its case and set it beside the lunch spread. By the time he turned around, Blake was waist deep in a pool of water a few yards from where they had entered. His clothes, all of them, were in a heap on the cave floor.

"Come on in, water's fine," he called.

Haru smiled and tossed off his shirt and vest, discarding his skinny jeans in a neat pile, and finally his underwear, setting them right next to Blake's clothes. He leapt into the water after his husband and laughed at the splash of cool water his body produced, starting to sing some song about ripples in water.

As the two chatted and splashed and laughed and sometimes kissed, they couldn't notice the nimble shadows dancing across the cave walls. Haru's singing drowned out more than a few playful snickers. And once they were ready for lunch, the happy couple helplessly discovered that their lunch, Haru's guitar, and both men's clothes were nowhere to be seen.

"A bet the little stinker covered his footsteps too," Haru snorted.


	5. Crabs and Heartbreak

A/N: Haru (Apollo) is in love with Corinna (Persephone). Maya (Aphrodite) confesses her love to Haru. Whom would Haru pick? Does Tsukiko (Artemis) think he made the right choice? Also mentioned is Shannon, who's Athena.

Yes, I'll admit it: Athena/Aphrodite is my Greek mythology OTP :T

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><p>This family meeting wasn't going so well.<p>

"Why? Why are you dating that, that hoebag? She's sleeping with everyone on campus!"

"Don't say those things about her, Tsuki, she's not a hoebag. She's classier. And besides, what do you want me to do, go back to pining over Corinna? She has a boyfriend. A boyfriend who is huge and scary and could tie me up like a pretzel, Tsukiko are you even listening to me?"

She shot a sour look at her twin.

"All you're going to get from her is crabs and heartbreak. At least you write good songs about Corinna, about unrequited love and that stuff. Now all your songs are gonna be about sex and tits and I for one will stop buying your albums."

"They're free on Myspace, Tsuki."

"I won't even download them!"

Haru shook his head.

"I'm never going to convince you, am I?"

"Not a chance."

"Never, since we were kids, have I ever been able to convince you to approve of any of my girlfriends."

"Never, since we were kids, have I ever been able to convince you that you're attracted to sluts."

Tension crackled in the room and Haru swallowed loudly. Tsukiko sat in front of her computer and started to check her e-mail, fiddle around on tumblr, or do whatever else she could to avoid conversation.

"Let's not fight."

"Don't start sleeping with Maya."

"Why not?"

"Shannon's in love with her... Don't break my best friend's heart, Haru, please? It's hard enough to get Maya's hands off of Andrew, we don't need her flinging herself on another cute guy..."

Haru bit his lip.

"I guess it's back to waiting, huh?"

Silence.

"I'm only passing this up for Shannon, okay?"


	6. Commitment

A/N: Kim (Hera) and Schuyler (Zeus) must pretend to be a married couple. Why?

This prompt, honestly, was a gift.

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><p>Never, in the history of their many anniversaries, had Schuyler ever hesitated to get Kim exactly what she wanted. Just to make her happy, just to stop the chattering and the berating and the lecturing and the nagging. But he was decidedly against this gift idea.<p>

"What do you want for our anniversary?"

"I want you to buy us matching rings and pretend like we're married for a week."

Cue spit take.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Babe, don't you think that's a bit much?"

"No, in fact, I don't think it's a bit much. Especially in light of that new flame you've kindled with, oh, what's her name...?"

"Mina?"

"Yes, her."

"It's not a flame, I... I'm tutoring her brother."

"Then you won't mind at all if we pretend to be a married couple. A faithful married couple."

Damn.


	7. Roommates

A/N: Andrew (Ares) is moving in with Blake (Hades). What do they fight about the most?

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><p>Andrew's music was very loud. And Blake was very tired. In fact, the only thing in the apartment possibly louder than Andrew's blaring stereo was the incessant moaning of the anonymous blonde on his couch. Blake decided that he would very much enjoy interrupting his roomie's "private time" for a little rehashing of the apartment rules. Especially the rules pertaining to Blake's bedtime.<p> 


	8. My Fucking Valentine

A/N: What would Schuyler (Zeus) give Blake (Hades) for Valentine's Day?

I tried to make this brotherly love rather than incest. Also, Corinna is mentioned. She's Persephone.

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><p>The DVD's cover read "Demon Pussies from the Underworld." The post-it note on the cover read "Enjoy your Valentine's Day, big bro. XOXO, Schuyler"<p>

He pressed four on his speed dial, his brother's number.

"Hello?"

"I have a girlfriend."

"What?"

"I have a girlfriend."

"You're still dating Corinna?"

"Mmhmm."

"Oh."

"So what should I do with my present?"

"Watch it with her...?"


	9. Retaliation

A/N: Under what circumstances could Maya (Aphrodite) and Kim (Hera) have a happy end? Also mentioned is Schuyler, who's Zeus.

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><p>"Fuck men."<p>

"Yeah, who needs 'em, right?"

"Fuck men..."

The women sat on the dock, tossing pebbles into the sunset. Tears ran down Kim's face.

"What's wrong?"

Kim shook her head.

"Nothing..."

Maya leaned over, kissed her lover's forehead, wiped the glistening tears from her shadowy face. She knew what Kim was thinking.

"You don't have to feel bad. About us, I mean."

"Why not...? I'm no better than he is..."

Maya wrapped an arm around Kim's shoulders.

"You are better than him. This is about love, Kimmie, this isn't about random sex, this isn't about chauvinism and using women like toilet paper. This is love, Kim."

That wasn't quite enough, Maya knew. She didn't often like to play this card, but something about the moment made her happy to do so.

"And you know, it's just giving him a taste of his own medicine."

That garnered a real smile.


	10. A Shortage of Virgins

A/N: What would Tsukiko (Artemis) like to change about Andrew (Ares)? Does number Andrew approve? (Tsuki's full name is Watanabe Tsukiko)

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><p>"Let's get this over with, Andrew. Stop fucking my friends. I only hang out with virgins and you're ruining all of them."<p>

Andrew stared for a long moment, a million responses gathering in his mind. After selecting one and then waiting a few minutes to make sure she was serious, he spoke.

"You're fucking weird, Watanabe. Fucking weird."


	11. The First to Say

A/N: Who is going to say "I love you" first, Corinna (Persephone) or Blake (Hades)?

Another couple I ship so hard

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><p>Once he had said it, she realized that he had spent every sentence he'd ever spoken to her trying to make her understand.<p>

"Get in my car" was an "I love you." "Your sister's too protective" was an "I love you." "Gimme your hand" was an "I love you." "It's lonely when you're gone." "You never smile for me." "Your skin's so soft." "I love you. I love you. I love you."

Every single movement, she realized, had been imbued with that essence of "I love you."

When he lurched behind her in the hallways it was a plea for affection. When he showed up in front of her classes it was a confession of longing. When he grabbed her thin wrist in his thick and firm but gentle grip, when he whisked her away to his van, when he sped down to his apartment, when he grasped her trembling shoulders and brought her up the stairs for the first of many times, he was only trying to tell her the way he really felt.

And once he said it, she realized that she didn't need to fear him or his intentions or the strange feelings he dredged up inside of her, she realized that all she wanted was to tell him that she loved him back. She realized that she meant it.


	12. Little Time Bomb

And Claude (Hephaestos) makes his first appearance, pissed to all hell at Maya (Aphrodite) and Andrew (Ares). His is a story I've been meaning to get out, but I challenged myself to do it in a shorter amount of time than I usually do. This was heavily influenced by Billy Bragg's song "Little Time Bomb" to the point of quotation.

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><p>God, he hated her. There, at least he could admit it to himself if no one else. Claude looked bitterly on at the scene below him. Staring out of his window, he was fixated on the figures of none other than Andrew Morris and Maya Asher, fucking like rabbits behind the wall of a nearby building.<p>

It was like she didn't even care. No decency at all, he told himself.

But he couldn't bring himself to be dismissive or brusque or even uninterested. Because it hurt, even after all these years.

High school, mere months after they gave each other their virginities, the bitch turned up late at his house for a date, hair mussed and words slurring together. She'd gotten smashed and slept with who knows how many guys. Worse, this wasn't the first time. They were done from there, Claude knew.

"What have I done?" he asked himself that night, and all nights after until infinity. "Lord, I've fallen in love with a little time bomb. I've fallen in love with a little time bomb."


	13. Unicorns

Inspired by The Unicorns' song "I Was Born a Unicorn." Haru (Apollo) and Tsuki (Artemis) twin action.

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><p>"Look, look," he giggled, raising a pointed index finger to his forehead. "Look, Tsuki, I'm a unicorn."<p>

Taking one brief look at her brother – and an unintended whiff –, she shot back at her twin.

"You're high is what you are."

He moped, then replied matter-of-factly.

"You just don't believe in me."


	14. Hades Spoons

Blake (Hades) is a cutie. My geeky, shippy take on what most refer to as the "Rape of Proserpina." Also Corinna is Persephone.

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><p>Corinna admired Blake's determination to taking their relationship slowly. By this time, most of her friends would have been boning their boyfriends for months. The most scandalous request she'd ever heard out of her massive Blakey was a timid: "Wanna take a nap together?"<p>

And people wondered why she laughed at their warnings against letting her guard down around him.


	15. Pilgrims

Inspired by The Decemberists' Grace Cathedral Hill. Shannon (Athena) visits her mother's grave, and Maya (Aphrodite) tags along

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><p>She sat in the dusty sod surrounding the headstone. <em>Sophia Yeardley Brady<em>, it read. _Wife to Arthur, Mother to Bridget and Shannon. _It was Shannon's yearly pilgrimage, though hardly one friends thought appropriate for her own birthday. How willful she was, they thought, how stubborn. She'd been called acerbic by some, grating. Maya knelt silently behind the hollow Shannon, quiet, not daring to intrude on her lover's most intimate of moments. Indeed she was stubborn, willful. Most wouldn't struggle with tears the way she was now, in front of their own mother's grave. But willful, stubborn Shannon held back her sobs.


	16. This Old Mountain

Listen to Woodie Guthrie's "Ingrid Bergman" and tell me it doesn't sound like Schuyler (Zeus).

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><p>Always fond of the tasteful metaphor, Schuyler decided to try out a new method of seduction today.<p>

It was in geology class, sitting next to the round-bottomed Shelley Gorman. He nodded towards her, getting her attention, then lowered his voice to a flowing, golden whisper.

"Hey babe. You're so pretty, you'd make my volcano explode anytime."

"Schuyler…"

"This old mountain, it's been waiting all its life for you to work it."

He reached beneath the table, touched her knuckles to his.

"Waiting, Shelley. For your hand to touch it's hard rock."

The poor girl lost it at "touch."


	17. Hell

The Candace (Demeter) and Corinna (Persephone) dynamic is becoming one of my favorites, especially when it comes to Corinna's love life, i.e., with Blake (Hades), of whom Candace violently disapproves.

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><p>The phone call from Candace was quite a surprise.<p>

"Hey, kid. I just, well, I wondered if you wanted me to come by for a week or so. Just stay at your place."

"E-excuse me?"

"Well, I mean, you must be so exhausted," she hastily explained, "I mean, you did just have a baby and all. So I figured if you wanted I could come over and help out with him. Take care of him so you could rest. Keep an eye on him."

There was the tip-off.

"Keep an eye on him? As in protect him?"

"I-I wouldn't say _protect _him. It's just…well, Blake is huge. And scary, and menacing, and please can't I just come?"

A pause. Corinna weighed her options.

"Hell no, Candace."


	18. Proud

Another new character from me, Violet is congruous to Iris, the goddess of the rainbow. Why not have her be a gaylord? It makes so much sense. Anyway, she's Hera's bitch in myth, but I added a twist. Violet is into Kim's (Hera's) little sister, Zoe (Hebe, who I'm aware is Hera's daughter in real myth, but I make that transition often for this AU), so she does whatever to win her chance.

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><p>Proud. What a word. It was her word, Violet decided. She embodied it, she lived it. President of the Gay Straight Alliance in high school, president of the Gay Student Union here. Since coming out of the closet – and she'd come out with guns blazing – Violet didn't take any shit from anyone. Her business wasn't their business, and even if it was, she would flaunt it.<p>

Then why, if she was so proud, did she let Kim make a bitch, a whipping girl out of her? Even as she asked, she cringed at the answer. A softy, that's what she was. Because all of this appeasement, all of the favors done and errands run, were in the hopes that maybe Kim would allow her access to the most forbidden of fruits.

So, in a nutshell, she was doing it for the chick's sister. Violet, the proudest bitch on campus, reduced herself for the opportunity to legitimize her love for another woman. How beautifully, sickeningly ironic.


End file.
